Doctor, won’t you please make up your mind?
All these girls chasing you from behind
Would you ever fall for the girl next door?
Just because you survived the great time war?

Every time I see you on the screen,
There is always some new girl on the scene,
Chasing the daleks, but she is looking at you,
Just because you’re Doctor who.

Rose saved you from your fears,
But yet again she was out on her ear.
You faded away because you were too late,
And a runaway bride was your next date.

Doctor Martha Jones was next in line,
She wanted to love you, but you had to decline.
Martha Jones was brilliant, you said,
But you told Donna Noble instead.

I was happy when the new doctor came,
But you even upset poor Sarah-Jane.
You in your tight suits and big hair
All the girls stop and stare.

Every companion always had your back,
Even good old Captain Jack,
But even he went back to his team,
But there’s already a new girl in the next magazine.

It’s Saturday night with a Steven Moffat story
He brought you Reinette in all her glory,
So who is this River Song?
Another girl you just strung along?

So Doctor take my advice,
When you see another girl think twice,
Journeys will end at series four,
And some old friends are knocking at your door…